EMDR: What to Expect

There are many different approaches to therapy, and each one has its own strengths. One that I specialize in is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR is an evidence-based therapy that helps people “clear out” the stored effects of painful past experiences. Research has shown it to be highly effective, often accelerating progress in therapy compared to more traditional talk-based methods.

As a therapist who works primarily with men, I especially appreciate EMDR because it’s less of a “talking cure” and more structured and action-oriented. Many clients find this approach both grounding and practical. In this post, I’ll share what EMDR is, how it works, and what you can expect if you begin the process.

What Is EMDR?

EMDR was developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro, who discovered that people seemed to process distress more effectively when their eyes were moving. Since then, EMDR has grown far beyond eye movements—it now includes many forms of bilateral stimulation, such as alternating sounds, taps, or visual cues.

What began as a promising technique has evolved into a full therapeutic model used worldwide, especially for trauma treatment. Today, EMDR is applied to a wide range of challenges, not only explicit trauma. I often use it with clients to address relationship patterns, difficulties around sex and sexuality, and other experiences that may be influenced by unprocessed memories.

The Theory Behind EMDR

At its heart, EMDR is a phase-oriented approach built around what’s called the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model. This model suggests that much of our distress stems from memories that haven’t been fully processed by the brain and body. When triggered, these “stuck” memories can cause us to relive old feelings and patterns.

EMDR follows a structured path known as the three-pronged protocol (past, present, and future) and uses eight distinct phases to move clients through stabilization, reprocessing, and integration. The therapy works at both psychological and neurological levels, engaging the brain’s natural capacity to heal by stimulating adaptive connections.

The Experience of EMDR

If you’re curious about what EMDR might look like in practice, here’s a general overview of the process:

Intake and History TakingWe begin by exploring your history, identifying potential targets for EMDR. These targets are often specific memories or memory fragments—an image, a body sensation, or an emotional spike—that continue to impact how you feel and respond today.

Phase I: StabilizationBefore diving into processing, we focus on grounding and regulation. Clients often experience this stage as learning skills that help them feel calmer, safer, and more connected to their best, most resourceful selves. This phase varies in length depending on the individual, but it’s essential for ensuring safety and preventing retraumatization later in therapy.

Phase II: ReprocessingOnce stabilization is in place, we begin working with identified targets. From a resourced, grounded state, we bring the memory or sensation into focus—contained but accessible—and then engage in bilateral stimulation. This allows the nervous system to resume processing what was once “stuck,” leading the experience toward a more adaptive resolution. The process often feels organic and can be profoundly freeing.

Phase III: IntegrationTherapy is only as valuable as the changes it helps you live out day to day. In this phase, we take the new beliefs and experiences from reprocessing and deepen them, so they become embodied—woven into your sense of self and the way you relate to others.

Conclusion

EMDR is a powerful and effective therapy that helps people create meaningful change, even when other forms of therapy haven’t worked as well. What I love most about it is that it doesn’t depend solely on talking through every detail. Healing happens through the process itself—you don’t have to relive everything or explain it all for EMDR to be effective.

If you’re interested in exploring EMDR and how it might support your healing, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together, we can see if EMDR is the right fit for you.